Obsessed
by NoWhere ManX
Summary: He sees her. She's always on his mind. He cannot explain his fascination. He doesn't understand why he's so obsessed with her. ZAGR!
1. Chapter 1: Obsession

Title: Obsessed

Disclaimer: Invader Zim and all their characters don't belong to me. They belong to much more creative man and yada, yada, yada…

I'm obsessed…

I've been noticing I've been staring at her a lot lately. I have no explanation, no reason for the activity but it simply is. Even here at the lunchroom of the hi-Skool where all the other worm-babies mull about like overgrown mutant hamsters in a zoo. With the cafeteria drones that everyday shovel out, that diseased _excrement_ they call food. The preppy larva beasts each of them with the shared intelligence of molding paste, that always seem to yak and gush over who is on their myspace page or what nuance of idiocy they witnessed last night on Youtube. Through the _horribleness_ that is teenage skool life I see her.

She stands out among rest, mocking me _Zim_, with her presence. With her lavish violet hair that wraps around a little below her face, shortly cut that it always seems to accentuate that beautiful pale skin that is her neck. It makes it appear to be soft, delicate, as if a single point of pressure applied and it would shatter into a thousand pieces.

Her golden-brown eyes take a sharp glance to her right and then returned to her regular passive expression. Most likely there were still some vampire piggies that had yet to be annihilated. I've noticed she rarely looks at anyone, rather hardly anyone can gather her attention. Most people just seem to be lesser beings in her eyes so her attention to them is minimal. For a moment I wonder would it be like to attain her full focus. Would I be swallowed up whole in the darkness that she seems to be able to call forth at will or would some crueler fate be in store for me.

My gaze falls further down from her eyes to her parted lips. They were full, lightly coated with some sort of black cosmetic that matched the dark lining around her eyes. It's a contrast from the whiteness of her pale skin to the dark colors of her full lips. The full succulent flesh slide and press together pouting ever so slightly, ever so delectably, as some tense part of her piggy crusade was being waged, its in that tender second do I notice a little more how tempting they actually look.

Some people call her ghoulish or morose. But I doubt very few of them, knew the true evil that lied behind those dark lashes. The darkness she could invoke on all that dared to oppose her. I can vouch first hand on the destruction that she's capable of. Sometimes I wonder if I was a masochist or some type of pain liking person, because I still have no problem with openly defying her.

But maybe it is that pain or the threat of pain that keeps me rooted here. That keeps me from wading through the currents of teenage idiocy to her side and demanding to know what device her or her _wretched_ brother launched at me that have been causing this dementia, this _stupid_ _obsession_. But I cannot…whenever I form the courage to take that first step my limbs fail me. The pump rate of my squeedily-spooch skyrockets and I simply remain where I'm seated.

When did I become so weak?

It disgusts me so much that I've fallen this far, that my _amazing_ mind could betray me so thoroughly in this. That some mere earth-beast could render all the awesomeness that is Zim to nothing. What has happened to me? What has this human done to me?

RIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNGGG!!

Damn, the bell.

Like a swarm of ill-bred cattle the teenage worm-beasts stampede out of the filth-hall so they can proceed to their next classes. Through the haze of stinky-teen bodies, I spare a look after her diminutive form as she retreats through one of the lunchroom doors.

She is a little one. Lithe, light, nimble…Not much over five feet in height yet she effortlessly topples over a jersey-clad sport's slave who dared to be in her way. Height is something of attractiveness among my people. In fact the Tallest, our leaders are considered to be the most charismatic amongst us, some would even call perfect. But yet she stands almost a half a foot shorter than my generous five and half feet, but yet I cannot take my eyes away from her. Not until she turns the corner away from my sights.

RRRRRRRIIIIIIIINNNNNNGGG!!

I release another curse after the warning bell rings. Taking a glance to one of the hallway clocks, I start to hurry down the hall to my own class. I was going to be late for Mr. Hollow's class.

Time seems to drift and flow in and out as the breath of my classes passes by me. Biology was one of my favorites. What better way was there to find out all the _delicious_ secrets and weakness of the humans than simple biology? I usually take notes, ask questions, I was what someone would call, a 'model' student. Why wouldn't I be? I wanted to know every truth and every little dark secret so I could one day crush this _filthy_ rock.

But I cannot concentrate.

My thoughts betray me. Even here, she is with me. Like a breath against the back of my neck, I can feel the whisper of her words, tempting me, the mild warning of the doom she could bring down upon me if I dared to cross her. But why did it have to sound more alluring by the second. I think about the softness of those lips, the sweetness. How tempting they truly are every time she spells out my doom.

The ecstasy I would feel if she were in my grasp for just a moment, when the differences between me and her mattered not, and all that was left were the feeling. That darkness that lied within our hearts, the death, the power, the lust, all raging together till we both found blissfully sweet oblivion…

BAMMMM!!

A calculus book gets slammed against my desk mere millimeters away from my face, instantly waking me from my reverie. My eyes widen to their full height as I stare down my dream-awakener-person, Mr. Brutal. "Insolent belly-filth!" my full voice raised, my finger pointing to the adult with all the fury a grumpy Irken invader could muster, "No one wakes the mighty ZIM from his all-powerful mind rests! DO YOU WANT THE BRAIN WORMS?"

My rant gets cut short as the wind was knocked out from me, courtesy of a fifteen-pound calculus book being hurled to my gut. Mr. Brutal just rolls his eyes at the typical, well typical for me anyway, response, "Shut-up and stop sleeping Zim," he grumbles. It takes a minute for me to recognize the new scenery. Damn, I'm in calculus. The last I remembered, I was in Biology.

I mumble a few things to myself and settle down. The rest of the class soon follows. I rake a hand through my synthetic hair as I try to get a grip onto reality. 'I have to do something,' I think to myself, 'I can't continue like this. This is a threat to my mission and I can't…' I don't get a chance to complete the thought, because the bell sounds again.

I'm one of the first ones out of the room, desperate to seek some fresh air. The heat, the sensations these dreadfully delightful feelings bring will be the end of me. My vision starts to see stars as I bash my head against one of the lockers, trying to knock the feelings from my brain.

After a dozen or so, clunks of unsuccessful attempts and a sizable bruise, I simply brace my head against one of the locker trying to gather my thoughts. Here I remained, allowing the skool kids to pass me by, until I notice a hint of violet that floats beyond my _amazing_ peripheral vision. I turn and to my delight and dread, it is her!

For an instant I ponder if this madness, this _obsession_ of mine has now driven me to hallucinate, but then I remembered we just had fifth period and her class was across the hall from mine.

She slowly moved across the hall with a predator's grace as if there was no one on this planet that was her equal. 'I should say something to her,' I ponder, "I am _Zim_…" I whispered to myself, steeling my resolve. (Like there was anything more that needed to be said.) And in that instant I nearly did, I didn't know what I'd to do or say, but I wanted to act somehow. But that ended when she dashed into one of the classes and in a flash she was gone.

And I think that perhaps it was for the best. Regardless of these _feelings_, she seems to invoke from within me. She's still one of the enemy and even worst that _wretched_ Dim-vermin's sibling. There can be nothing to gain with any interaction with her, I tell myself.

I take a breath and press away from the locker. Thoughts of that bionic squirrel-monkey experiment that I had been neglecting for weeks, started to enter my head as I walked to my class. But then she rushed back out of the room back into the hordes of pig-smelly students, only this time the most horribly tragic event occurs.

For a second through the crowd, through all the assorted chaos that orchestrated around us, our eyes met. A gaze is locked between us that I would not be the first to break, partially because I cannot lose. I, Zim, cannot appear weak to these filthy earth-stinks. I cannot allow it. Another part is because I cannot look away. The longer I look it feels as if I'm drawn into those two amber pools that held the intensity of ten dying suns. It is as if the world surrounded us fell away, that there wasn't any meat-stink children around or their horrible instructors. As if every movement, every glance, every breath was for the two of us alone to share.

All the courage I held a moment ago was lost under the piercing intensity of those chocolate colored eyes. Her glare centered on me for another second then her eyebrows pitched into a delightedly tight frown. She looked as though to take a step towards me with her one of her fists clenched, most likely to cast my body into some new form of ruin that I wouldn't be liking too much. But it seemed I was spared this time, as a warning bell rang. She merely just settled with flipping me off and continuing on her way. As I saw her fleeing from me, an understanding came to me.

I finally realized what I had to do…

OoOoOo

A bell that signaled the start of the last period of the day rang and the hallways were once again flooded with worm-babies eager to get to the final class of the day over with so they eventually would be allowed to flee their captivity for the weekend.

I saw my target as she wandered through the hallway alone, but hardly helpless. As soon as she stopped at her locker to gather her books for her last class, I struck!

From up on the asepsis-covered titles I descended, the spidery metallic legs from my Pak soared out like tentacles capturing my prey in their grasps. Then before anyone could spot us, I dashed almost lightning fast into the nearest broom closet, broke the lock behind us and unleashed my bounty to the floor, all in less than two minutes.

A smug grin was on my face, as some of my usual egotism returned. "Victory for Zim…" I whispered, while eyeing my captive. She was reduced to a throng of dark clothing, skirts, and purple hair as it took a few moments for her get her orientation.

For a second I feared that in my haste to bring her here I might have injured her somehow. It was a calculated risk, sure but one that needed to be taken. I guess she realized where we were, one of dirt-slaves broom chambers, due to the cleaning supplies and the small space. Probably a little over two feet separated the two of us. Next her attention went to the doorknob, which was cleanly broken off. I had something in my Pak that could open the door, but I wasn't in any hurry of retrieving it anytime soon. Then in the next minute through her tendrils of bright violet hair, a single amber eye immediately locked onto me, in its depths laid more torment then all the levels of hell combined.

My smug grin dissolved into more of a determined frown. My mind racked over whether or not this again wasn't one of the more brilliant moves on my part, but at this point there wasn't any going back.

As she slowly rose to her feet, I deliberated on how I wanted to start. It's hard for me, to say all of what I'm thinking about her, without making it sound well…stupid.

Before I could speak though, we both heard telltale chime of the final bell blaring. We were now both officially late to class. I stared down at her as her eyes returned a look of pure venom. "Zim, you have exactly three seconds before your life becomes a nightmare revisited," she threatened while approaching me. Her fists clenched, her eyes opened and enflamed, her lips curled in the most carnage seeking snarl I'd ever seen and here my blood was racing. In the presence of her fury, my Tallest she was _radiant! _

Before there was any bloodshed, namely mine, the spider legs from my Pak came out again, surrounding her from all sides. I saw her eyes spotting my appendages advancement, she curled to retaliate but luck was on my side since there wasn't much room between us in the first place. My metallic legs caught each of her limbs and my hand shot out seizing her throat in an unearthly grip that even she was taken by surprise, her eyes widening while looking at me. I think for a second I actually scared her. Good. Maybe for once she'll actually take me seriously.

"YOU!" I shouted the word as if it's a curse, my free hand pointing to her accusative, "It is your fault my ingenious mind is broken! Everyday all hours _it_ enters my thoughts. All blissful, all amazing, all dreadful!" she looked at me like I was out of my mind. I know I wasn't making any sense but I had to continue I had to get everything out.

Still using my free hand, I quickly removed my wig and the contacts in my eyes, so she could see all that was me. My Irken eyes openly met her's again, "You're everything beautiful and dreadful on this Tallest forsaken _rock_. An angel with black wings, an open flame that burns all that dared to touch but it is I, Zim that seeks to be engulfed. And I can't help it…"

"No other being realizes the greatness that you are nor are they worthy. Neither is Zim, but yet I still seek…" The earlier tension I felt from her body was gone as she continued to look at me, her eyes actually softening the longer I spoke. "The beauty of your hair, the softness of you skin, the alluring tempting flesh of your lips, I think about it always. I think about you…"

Gaz tilted her head to the side confused, "What are you saying, Zim?"

I merely laughed, "What is Zim saying? He doesn't know. He doesn't know anything anymore and it's driving him insane! These…You, drive me to madness!!" I shouted out with everything I have. My head lowered, steady breaths flowing from me, the last of my energy draining with my words as the weight of my confession finally hits me.

Then my eyes finally drew aware of our situation, locked in a broom closet, her bounded by my Pak's legs, her life literally being held in my grasp to the point where all I had to do was simply squeeze and she would be no more. "Oh my Tallest," I panicked. My legs immediately shrank back into my Pak and I released her. To my displeasure I noticed two claw size bruises on her neck that I immediately regretted. "I'm so, sorry," I whispered as an uncharacteristic amount of uncertainty hit me. I stumbled back against the closet wall. What was I thinking? Why did I think this would work?

While I wallowed in my own misgivings, I didn't realize I spoke those last two thoughts out loud. I simply shook my head and turned away. I'm sure it wouldn't be hard to convince Gaz's teacher it wasn't her fault for being late. I turned to head towards the door, when I felt a small hand place on my shoulder. "Wait…" I turned to her and she simply asked, "Why did you do this Zim?" Her voice wasn't full of scorn, just honest curiosity.

I sighed as I approached her, my forehead rested against hers as she leaned back against the wall, my crimson orbs starting into her chocolate brown ones. I didn't care if I was in her personal space and was tempting oblivion at this point I would gladly embrace it. "I just…I had to know the reason for this obsession, the reason why you're constantly plaguing me…"

Then she did something I wasn't expected. Her face, it didn't return to it usually scowl or blank expression. She appeared almost thoughtful, her eyes openly draining on me. It was if her eyes possessed some immaculate awareness that seemed to be able to pierce through all the greatness that is Zim and find the small lonely Irken that lived within the Pak. I held her life in the brink of my hand and yet she seemed to have all the power here. "Do you really want to find out?" in that moment why did her lips look more appealing that all the levity that both of the Tallest could ever give me.

"Yes!" I screamed, "Tell me! Tell _Zim_!"

I felt the smallest sensation that drew chills up my spine as I realized she never removed her hand from my shoulder. Then time seemed to slow, as I felt her pull me towards her. The space between us was at it barest. I could see the crimson reflection of my eyes in hers. She pulled me even closer, my eyes closed as I allowed her to do what she will with me.

Then she slapped me…_hard_.

I let out a _loud_ Irken curse as my ruby eyes burst open from the blaring pain to my cheek, "_Demon-seed_ of a woman, I should…" But I never finished, because she then pulled me down so close, so hard, her lips hungry, dominating over mine. And my world instantly burst into an inferno.

A kiss…

I've read about its description from various texts. I knew the part it played in the human's mating ritual. But my _Tallest_, all those definitions hardly did it any justice. What at first started out small, simple, contained, burst into an avalanche of so many sensations. My lips pressed and fought against hers so many numerous times that that I'd lost count.

I lost my breath causing a break in between our exchanges and I realized I honestly didn't know what was going on or how we got to this point. But Earth be _damned_ if I wanted to stop now. And one glance at the heated expression in her eyes confirmed her opinion.

My lips fell from hers and rained upon her neck. She moaned softly from the act, her hands balling tiny fists into my shirt. I don't know what insanity drove me, but my teeth lightly bit down on her sampling her. A moment later I felt her hands clutch the back of my head, if it was because of pain or in ecstasy, I didn't know, but the gasp then a "sigh" that sounded very pleasing followed, which gave me my answer.

I felt her warm fingers collect at the bottom of my shirt, then the sensation of her delicate fingers racing along my spine. It seemed the closer she felt to me the better. In that moment I too wanted to feel her body, to actually feel her skin with my hands.

She allowed me to touch her.

I felt her body tremble with my exploration but she didn't deny me. In all the worlds I've gone to in all my years of an Invader I've seen many things, but nothing was more beautiful than the moments she was bare before me.

I touched, caressed her…All the while I was feeling something brew inside me. Something that was buried deep beneath, before my activation day, before my Pak was assembled, probably even before the Control Brain was erected. I found a baser part of me, that burned, desired and most of all wanted…her.

When I returned to the world, I had her pressed up against the wall, her naked legs wrapped around my waist as I was driving deep inside of her with every fiber of my being. Her fingers raking deep lines into my back while she was holding me tighter and tighter. It felt so hot and wet, but yet wonderful. Her lips seeking mine as mine were seeking hers. Our breaths ran out in chants.

My Tallest, the _feelings_…

If was as if I was racing through the universe to infinity and back, with still enough vigor to go back for more. Through her eyes I saw the answers to everything; love, trust, hope, want, FREEDOM! In that instant I felt myself unleash. Letting go of everything…An instant later I heard her scream my name, then like a flower she wilted in my arms.

We both slid down to the floor, nothing but our labor breaths echoing in the tiny room. As if the weird trance we both were in moments ago suddenly vanished and only two strangers remained.

We got dressed in silence and slipped out of the closet surprisingly unnoticed.

We gave each other a single parting glance and went our separate ways through the hallway as if nothing ever happened. A moment later the bell rang again and the hall soon filled with students fleeing from the wretched confines of their classrooms. In a moment of weakness I spared a fleeing look in her direction, but to my displeasure she was gone.

My mind tumbled over all that just happened and still I have no conclusion. I don't know what she did to me. The only thing I do know, I don't want it to stop.

OoOoOo

A/N: Hiya!

I know I don't have much of a history with this section. But I've been a fan of the show since when it actually was airing on Nick. I, like you all, share the opinion that injustice was done when it cancelled but that's neither here nor there. I recently purchased the DVDS and been feeling the need to write something ZAGR for forever. So here it is.

I planned to have two more chapters for this. The next being Gaz's reaction and thoughts about what occurred. So if you liked this story stay tuned. If not, sorry for wasting your time. ;; (Pssst…I'm not really sorry. MWHAHAHAHAAHAAAAAAAA!!)

Cough

Anyway, expect the next chapter for this shortly. Review if you think it needs it, don't if you think it doesn't. Also I have another story I'm working on. Its more action/adventure oriented. So if you dig the works, check that out also. I love writing fight scenes.

Later people!


	2. Chapter 2: Lost

Title: Obsessed

Disclaimer: Invader Zim and all their characters don't belong to me. They belong to a much more creative man and yada, yada, yada…

_I'm lost…_

I'm passing through the hallways shoving bodies in my wake, trying desperately to forget all of what occurred just moments ago. _His_ scent, the lingering tingle of _his_ hands and lips along my skin, it still rings echoes in my body, forcing me to move.

And I run.

I don't stop at my locker, I don't get my bag; I just go. "Hey Gaz!" I hear the delightful pleasant greeting from my dull-witted moronic brother, but I don't stop to deal with his stupidity I have go I have to leave. I'm bursting through the school doors and still I go. Faster and faster I run, till everything I recognize gets lost and yet still I run.

As if I can outrun reason, I run. As if I can outrun reality, I run. As if I can outrun the feelings, the sensation, the heat, the want… As if I can outrun the memory of him, his touch, his words, and the overwhelming bliss I felt when I was calling his name when he made me…

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" I shouted out at the top of my lungs unleashing all the frustration and anger that was brewing inside of me like a storm, driving me to insanity, driving me to madness. And after a few moments it was all over.

I fell to my knees. My breath came out in short pants as I braced against a tree. The violet tresses of my hair fell along side my face like a crown as I closed my eyes. For a few moments I simply breathed. I could hear the echoing of my breaths inside me as I tried to clear my thoughts. A faint kiss of wind caressed my face as I breathed in slowly. I noticed a faint hint of something. The flowery fragrance of dandelions and daffodils or something washed against my nose as I opened my eyes.

I stared around, finally taking notice of my new scenery. I was in the middle of a lush green park somewhere, surrounded by several different hues of flowers. "Beautiful…" I whispered to myself, as I noticed the colors and the different textures. I'm mildly surprised by my own admittance. I never cared about such things in the past but for some stupid reason I notice it now. And maybe it wasn't so stupid after all.

I breathed in again allowing the serenity of the scene to fill me. It eased the racing pulse of my heart as I continued to breath. After a while I simply I brought my knees up to my chest and just watched all the beauty that was around me.

I didn't leave that spot till after nightfall.

OoOoOo

It was well after dark when I returned home. As soon as I entered the door, Dib was there with a thousand questions, all of them stupid. "Where was I? Why did I run off like that? Where have I been?" All to which were promptly ignored. There was only one destination I was seeking: my room and more importantly my bed.

The door harshly slammed behind me, most likely on Dib's face, as I crawled onto my bed. After an hour or so the shouts from Dib's noise hole ceased leaving me in blissful silence. But awake I remained, left alone to the million and one thoughts that were buzzing within my head. All to which I had no answers to, which of course brew up even more questions.

With little warning the sequence of day, night and day, washed over me. My game console was not touched. A Bloaty's Pizza was left unmolested. Before I even realized it, the weekend passed me by and I hardly even noticed. I didn't really consider it's meaning till I remembered the start of another day of school was slowly approaching.

There was never a day I dreaded more than that.

OoOoOo

I drifted behind Dib as we walked through the neighborhood. The irritating wailing of my brother's voice was rattling on and on about something I didn't care about as usual. Normally, I would have threatened him or simply stuffed his shoe into his mouth with him still wearing it. But today my mind was elsewhere, probably still locked in a dusty broom closet with a psychotic alien.

It wasn't till he started to pull on my arm to ask if I was listening did I finally act. My foot came out striking his knee at the perfect angle that if I placed bit more effort into it, it would have shattered, I then yanked his collar down so he could look straight into my cold dark eyes. "Quiet…" I softly warned him, which was all it took to settle him down.

We walked the rest of the way to school in beautiful silence.

OoOoOo

To be honest that felt good. It felt really good. It almost felt like everything was going back till normal. I almost believed that too, that was till we entered school and I saw _him_ again, Zim.

My heart then started racing, my legs felt weak, all of my body was going haywire and all of that was just from me happening to spot him. "Stop…" I whispered to myself, trying to will my body to control. I bottled everything down, all the insane thoughts, and troublesome notions. I stopped everything I was feeling so I could produce what I needed to deal with him. An emotion I could hold faith in, the only one I could trust; blind uninhibited _rage_.

Within an instant I left my brother's side and was behind Zim just as he was turning away from his locker. His fake lens-ed eyes locked with mine just seconds before my fist collided with his jaw. "_Zim!_" I growled slamming him back up against his locker. I balled up his shirt in a tight fist, while bringing him down to my eye level, "If you touch, speak or even look at me ever again, I will destroy you. Do you understand me? I will spend every waking moment making your world a living nightmare!"

For several moments he didn't say anything. Neither did anyone else to be honest. It was like they were spellbound by the violence I produced. But they could all go to hell, because nothing that they believed or did even mattered. Just this.

I watched as a myriad of emotions swam over Zim's face. Shock initially, confusion, but most of all hurt, which I found surprising and yet didn't bring me any joy. But the one thing I was hoping for but yet I didn't see from him was anger.

In a blink all of that passed and something else was displayed, something I couldn't figure out. It was as if he came to a conclusion, like the world opened up to him and he finally understood everything. He then moved, deliberately slow, deliberately intentional, his hand tenderly caressing my face. He was so gentle, even gentler than the time when we spent together, and despite myself I felt my cheek getting hot. "I dare you," he whispered into my ear challenging, and my whole body felt like it was on fire.

He then guided me to him. My eyes instantly locked onto his lips. He was going to kiss, me I realized and my God, why did I almost want him to, even here in the hallway in front of everyone. Just to give in one more time…

Instead I sharply slapped his hand away and turned from him while leaving, "I will kill you…" I warned while departing. I had to leave now or in another moment I wouldn't have had the strength to.

I passed by my brother whose mouth was gapping open like a fish. "ZIM!" he finally responded. But Zim didn't pay him any attention; his eyes were only of me. Which of course infuriated Dib even more "You stay away from sister, you-you-you…ALIEN!" he feebly returned, his fist waving threatening. I think initial shock from our exchanged temporarily placed his dial on: stupid. I returned a moment later to retrieve the embarrassment that I unfortunately had to be related to.

As I was leaving Zim spoke, "Challenge accepted, Gaz-human," he returned to my fleeing form, "But Zim will wait. I will wait for you Gaz," he said softly making sure only I would hear. And that was the last thing Zim said to me.

OoOoOo

True to his word, if that means anything, Zim did stay away.

He kept his distance at lunch. If we saw each other in the hallway, he would turn around and take a different route. He would even stop his fights with my brother if I were coming in range. He'd simply allow the subject to drop and politely leave. Which naturally eased Dib's fears tremendously, if little else.

And now here I am. For three long weeks it was perfect, I was completely Zim free and yet for some reason I feel even more miserable.

OoOoOo

_I'm lost…_

Hours have passed since skool ended and I'm still lying on my bed. Another day has drifted by me and I took little notice. Ever since that day three weeks ago my life seems like everything has been on a standstill.

All my thoughts…I keep thinking about him. Ever since that day, ever since that _stupid_ day that I did the most _idiotic_ thing possible and now I can't keep him out of my mind. I don't know what possessed me that day. I should have ended him. I should have sent him to oblivion. I should have destroyed him where he stood.

What was I thinking? What am I, insane!

And why did it have to feel so _fucking_ good!

That last thought was what was most agonizing of all.

It was supposed to be a joke. A _stupid_ joke! I was supposed to tease _him_ about wanting something he could _never_ have, but instead somewhere along the lines he kissed me. No…Fuck! No, I kissed him. And that's where everything went wrong because I didn't stop and I didn't want to stop. Because it of how it _felt_.

His hands, his lips, his…DAMMIT!

He made me feel! He made me feel, everything!

I'm not supposed to_ feel_. I'm not supposed to care. Everything is supposed to be stupid and annoying and I only deal with it because I have no choice. I'm forced to. Dib's _annoying_ voice! The moronic kids at skool! My inattentive father, who doesn't see young woman that's growing right in front of him! I tolerate it all, because I have to. And what I can't tolerate, I just break.

Destruction…Heh, I'm good at that.

But _he_ took that away. _Zim_ took that from me. And for a brief moment, he made me face myself. He made me feel like everything I didn't want to feel like. For a brief moment, he shined a light into my cavern of infinite darkness and actually saw the fragile human woman that dwelled inside. In that moment he made me do something I didn't think was possible, he made me let go.

He opened my eyes to the actual beauty and hideousness of everything in the world. Where my bubble of indifference and brutality couldn't protect me, where was I left naked, defenseless, but then he pulled me into his arms and for some reason that was just enough. I felt safe and I just let go…

I HATE HIM!

I hate him for making me feel this way. I want to brush it off, I want to just forget about the whole damn thing, but I _can't_! I hate him because it felt so good to let go. Just to forget about everything and to be within the moment. Now I'm lost. Nothing I do now has any meaning anymore, because all I want is _that_ feeling again! I want that feeling with _him_.

He ruined everything, because I can't go back. I notice now, how lifeless everything really is. I can't go back and I don't know if I even want to anymore. And now I'm here on my bed staring at my ceiling thinking about him _again._ Thinking about his scent, his touch, and how it felt when we were together. When we both were… And he was inside…

"AAAARRGGHHH!!" I yelled an instant later; the pillow I was rested on gets hurled across the room. The cushion gets reduced to a feathery massacre. I'm only grateful that Dib's out with his girlfriend Zita right now, or I'd have him to deal with. And I don't have the strength for it right now.

I go to the mirror in my room and a hideous person stares back at me in the reflection. My purple locks have split ends. My amber eyes have bags under them. My chest could be fuller; I could have a better figure. But he said I was beautiful. He's crazy… Or I'm crazy…

"Stop…" I whisper to myself, trying once again to reign in all these warring feelings within me. I breathe slowly as I comb my hands through my hair. The few tangled knots break away, as my fingers rest along my neck. For a moment I stare at the white skin there. Absentmindedly, I feel along the side of it where he left his mark on me. The wound has finally healed but the memory would forever remain. For a short time the world would have been able to see I was his…and I liked it.

I've been on dates before. I know how my looks I affect regular guys my age, but for some reason from the start it was different with _him_. I was afraid. Honestly afraid. Not that he would hurt me, no. But that look in his eye, it said something, something other than the million boasts he's claimed in the past or his mild fits of insanity. I saw desperation, I saw desire and I saw want. And the most terrifying thing of it all, I saw it was directed only towards me.

Now he casts his eyes away from me, whenever I get near him. He goes the other way if I'm walking down the hall. He's given me exactly what I asked him and I can't stand every second of it. A part of me wants to rip every limb from his body off, but another part of me wants him again. It wants him to touch me, to kiss me, to lay me down and make me _feel_ _the world _all over again.

"Stop…" I whisper to myself. I'm losing it again. I stare at my reflection one more time and as if something inside me clicked I knew my answer. "He will pay…" I whisper to myself as if the haze that clouded my sights for the last few weeks finally parted. The answer was simple, with him gone, with his existence erased only then could everything that I've lost could be restored. Only then would the balance be restored and my life can resume.

Drops of rain fell from the sky as I reached my front door. A crackle of lightning flashed overhead adding to the darkness that was fueling my mood. Today it everything was going to end.

A/N: Ah, finally. I had this completed the day before, but I decided to hold off on it a bit to get a few more kinks out of the writing. Writing for Gaz in this aspect was a little more challenging because she's not as vocal through the series like Zim and Dib are. Usually when she comments on something it's in reference to the stupidity she's witnessing from the world around her.

And to be honest, scary powers and pwning aside, she's probably one of the more normal characters in the series. So it was an extra special treat to write for this.

Looks like we're coming to the wire, the final conclusion, only one more chapter left.

Oh yeah, one more thing, I wanted to thank to all the lovely people from the ZAGR club from deviantART, they are some of the most supportive people around and I wanted to say thanks for all the encouragement. It can be difficult to try to put out a story that tends to be, beyond the normal scope of a series and there were a lot of very kind folks that had nothing but supportive things to say.

Anyway later guys!


	3. Chapter 3: Peace

Obsessed pt. 3

_I am war!_

Dark clouds started to form overhead the moment my foot left my doorstep. My eyes glanced skyward a second after I felt the first drops of rain. In a few moments it was as though the heavens collapsed as a torrential downpour was brought to my feet, soaking my clothes, my hair, everything. But yet I didn't mind. It felt right, like nature itself was corresponding with the mood I was in.

Plus it was rain…he hates rain.

Streaks of lightning crackled and struck as I made my trek through the neighborhood. The darkness of the sky continuing to consume all the further I moved. People stopped and parted way as I approached. Cars halted completely every street I crossed. It was like every person and everything knew the steel of my determination. You either made way or got caught in the winds of my fury.

I wasn't some troubled misguided teen from the local hi-Skool. I was an entity, an act of nature, a conduit of black vengeance and I wouldn't stop till my devastation was served.

OoOoOo

With little time my target was in sight. I spotted his tiny green house wedged in between two other buildings like a parasite. When I stepped inside the boundaries of his yard, I noticed the stormed overhead brewed even more furious, lightning bolts pounded the pavement like a hammer every step I took.

I spared a glance to the quartet of lawn gnomes that decorated/guarded his home. I knew if they turned even the slightest towards my direction their destruction would have been ultimate. But they didn't budge, not one inch. I paid it little mind though, because my objective wasn't too far now.

With a few more steps I was at his door. My blood was boiling, my was heart racing. I could feel my fists tightening at my sides, anticipating the havoc I was about to reap. 'This was it,' I said to myself and for a brief second I felt a bit of apprehension, but I stamped it down quick. His destruction was needed…no, it was necessary.

OoOoOo

My foot cocked back, anxious to kick-in the door to begin the terror, but before I could act the door swung open by itself and from the darkness inside two blood red eyes peered out, staring directly back at me. A streak of lightning crackled just that instant illuminating the red orbs making them look more ethereal, more formidable then all the denizens in hell.

Then from out the blackness Zim stepped into the doorway his eyes still locked onto me. He was without his disguise again, arms clasped behind his back, looking every bit just like that day so many weeks ago that brought so much ruin to me. But yet…

…It was different.

His eyes…they were different for some reason. They betrayed nothing, neither joy, anger, nor surprise…simply nothing. His eyes held such an ease that was nearly unnerving. It was like at this exact point in time he knew exactly where he was supposed to be and what he was supposed to do.

The only hint of apprehension I saw from him from his stance. He kept himself firmly planted in the middle of the doorway, not allowing any part of him to touch the droplets that were raining down from the sky. Yet he also wasn't retreating even though he was in so close proximity to his elemental killer.

Noticing that, I snapped out of my spell as I remembered the reason why I came here to confront him in the first place.

I felt like I should have been saying something now to break the silence, but it would have been cheap. I didn't need to say a damn thing to him because he knows why I'm here. It's his fault I'm like this. It's his damn fault that things are crazy for me now.

And in an instant the fury of my emotions flared up again, I felt my fist tightening at my sides. _'Hit him!'_ I shouted to myself. _'Hit him and don't stop, then this will be nothing but a stupid memory,'_ I was right. My eyes harden the longer I looked at him. The agony, the torment I felt these past weeks, it was _all his damn fault!_ And he had to pay. He had to pay ten fold for everything he caused me! _'Hit him and this will be over!'_

He was defenseless. He didn't put up a guard or anything, in fact his arms fell to his sides lifeless as if he were a stringless marionette. Zim then moved, his hands turning upright his arms open. Almost welcoming…me?

The furious voice inside my head was fuming, wanting blood, wanting me to act, and yet I didn't know what to do and those damn eyes! Without his disguise he had no pupils but God, it looked as though he was staring only at me. Like out of everything that existed in his life, I and I alone was the only thing that mattered. Why does he constantly make me feel this way? Feel special?

'_Hit him…'_

'_Hit him…'_ The voice continues…

'_Hit him…' _

Those damn calm, stupid, warm, moronic, caring eyes keep staring at me.

'_Hit him…'_

'_HIT Him!'_

I can't take this anymore. The pain… The confusion… The helplessness… The heat… The want… The caring… The fury… The misery… The lust…

'_HIT HIM!!'_

All these things swirl inside me, consuming me. I can't think clearly anymore, I can't breathe. Help…help me!

'_HIT HIM, DAMMIT!!'_

I just shut my eyes; I shut myself out. I shut Zim out. I shut them all out and I finally act!

OoOoOo

The sun started to shine. The clouds started to part. The birds started to sing. And the world continues to move.

OoOoOo

_I'm home…_

I open my eyes to the beautiful world that's blossoming around me and I realize that everything hasn't swallowed me whole, that my confusion and anger hasn't torn me apart from the inside out. I hear a familiar sigh, which draws me to the presence beside me and I come to a realization, I must be mad. I must be insane! Because I'm in his arms, I was holding him and I wasn't letting go. When I could breathe again, I felt his arms slowly wrap around me.

He was so warm…

My God, I forgot how warm he was…

I then balled more of him around me as I breathed in his familiar scent. And suddenly all the anger, all the fury I previously was feeling faded away, because I realized now what answers I was searching for all this time. I kept thinking I was asking myself, "How?" How could I feel this way about him? How could I let him in so close to me? But in truth what I was really asking myself was, "Why?" Why him? Why did it have to be him of all people?

But maybe, just maybe, the "Hows" and the "Whys" don't matter and the fact that "I _do_," is all that's important. …Yeah, I think I like that a lot more.

I hear his voice softly whisper to me, "Zim waited…" in the space of his words I remember the promise he made me three weeks ago, _'Zim will wait. I will wait for you, Gaz.'_ And he did.

In that moment I can't help thinking how much of a fool I've been this whole time, because he knew. He knew all this time. He knew even when I myself fought, clawed, and nearly obliterated everything to prove wrong what I've secretly wanted all along.

What we both wanted…

How can someone that's not even native to this planet, still know me better than members of my own family? Better than I know myself.

After he said that, I looked up into his eyes. For the passed three weeks I believed everything in my life was a complete and utter hell because of him. But looking into his eyes now, I saw three weeks of longing, of agony and most of all loneliness. He kept himself away, despite how desperate he wanted to be close, all because he somehow knew it was time I needed.

He could he be so right? How could he care for me so much?

"I know," I said to him, "and I'm so, so sorry…" my voice is weak and vulnerable. I wanted to cry. Fuck, I've been crying. I just didn't realize it till now, I buried myself deeper into his embrace as my tears flow and he simply lets me.

I look up at him again and a faint smile touches his lips. Standing this close to him, being held by him, the pieces from all those weeks ago fall into place again. Despite the difference in his appearance, his exotic touch still burns something inside of me. His warm yet firm body makes me lose grasp on all thought. It makes me realize my pure want. I kiss him, because I almost forgot the feeling and I never want to ever again. I kiss him again and don't stop. He doesn't either.

With a few guided steps we're inside his house. I hear the faint hiss echoing from his lips as his hands run through my damp hair. God, I'm still soaked from the rain, but he doesn't seem to care regardless. My lips finds purchase with his neck, so with every bit of pain he experiences, my lips equally reward him.

"_Gaz_," I hear him purr my name as I devour a particular sensitive part of his collarbone. I whisper my wants, my desires for him. I want him to touch me like he did before. Make me feel like I was special and the only thing precious in this world.

We move and then we're in his living room where he slowly strips me out of everything I wear. His slender fingers roam, caresses every inch of my body igniting it into bliss. I fall back against his couch and I laugh when he nibbles on my neck calling me, his _Little_ Gaz.

I cannot tell you how many hours drifted by while we remained on his couch. Just a mixture of kisses, caresses and just simply holding brewed through us. He took so much care whenever he touched me that for the first time in my life I actually feel cherished. I don't care that my breasts aren't bigger, that the curve of my hips aren't fuller, that I'm not all the things that people list as being beautiful… All I want is for him to keep looking at me and keep holding me. It's all I want.

His couch eventually makes a low clicking sound. We're soon bathed in a parade of lights as we descend farther down into his home. The forever journey continues till we finally reach his bedroom where everything that takes place makes all of that occurred in that broom closet all those weeks ago seem small, trivial even insignificant in comparison.

But I can't share the rest of with you. I'm sorry…

Oo

OoOoOo

Oo

_This is my peace? Is she?_

Numerous hours have passed and yet my eyes continue to watch the gentle rise and fall of her stomach as she rests silently beside me. My finger draws a thin line up the pale white skin of her slender arms all the way up to her soft shoulders. A small contented sigh escapes from her full lips… For a moment I fight the urge to taste those lips again, but she needs to rest so I simply pull the crimson sheet back over her.

For reasons I cannot explain watching her like this, so peaceful, so at ease, is very soothing to me. I don't think I could ever tire of the act. My mind continues to analyze all the events that occurred hours ago and I continue to come to only one conclusion; Contentment.

This beauty, this hideous, destructive, radiant, sinister beauty, she brings stillness to me. A peace that I've never once experienced in my life, yet I can't help feeling the electricity that continues to course through me, like potent battery goo. The brilliance of my mind seems to be sending out a thousand impulses a second. Every moment as I continue to lay with her, the most inane thoughts come to me, but the ones that tend to be most prevalent are the ones that revolve around making her happy.

I've seen the myriad of emotions that played on that soft face: rage, contempt, sadness and bliss. In lingering moments, before fatigue finally claimed her, she told me I was the first person she smiled for in many years. And during this act we've committed, this relationship we somehow hashed together, I realized a smile, fits her best.

The Prime directives instilled in me from my Pak, continual tell me that this feeling, this _want_ to care and provide for another is only a self-destructive weakness. Dozens of images of my ruined, icky hurt body flood my sights in five-minute increments, my Pak providing insight of what a future might bring if I continue to pursue these emotions.

Even my own research from several Earthling databases has provided such painful information on the _horrors_ of affections; breakups, depression, stalking, abuse, suicide. So many dismal tales, that it made my horror for salted meats seem trivial.

Can it be true?

Can affection, caring, only bring pain and hurt to one another?

"Doubts?" a clear voice cuts through my clouded mental deliberation. I look up and her eyes are on me, open with so much intent that I can see my reflection in her chocolate irises. Even nude with a little more than a sheet to cover her, there is still a presence, a power within her that nearly makes me want to go running screaming into the night, or bow down beg in fealty.

I clutch my head as if it was in pain, "Zim's amazing mind must be infected by cranial jellies from Planet Spect. Never a thing Zim wanted, he received! Everything Zim tries for, he never gets, but you!" I say pointing to her.

As her knees slide up to her chest while she listens to me, I take a moment and realize; Zim makes a lot of rants.

Focus!

"I feel like you're the best and the worst thing that ever happened to me," I pause for a moment and answer my own question. "Best. You're still the best, but Zim still doesn't understand was it logic or insanity that motivates his actions?" I sigh while taking a breath, "Honestly, I usually have a hard time dividing the two? If it was logic, how could I be so reckless? If it was logic, how could I've known your heart so well?"

Her eyes bore holes in me and I realized I was rambling again. "I'm lost," I finally manage, "I've done research and I know this tends to be a common act among your people. But for Irkens it is not so…"

The moment my mouth closes, instantly I realized my error, because her open gaze was splashed with the most squeedily-spooch wrenching pain, that I felt as though I, Zim was actually wounded. Her face then twitched into the most hateful glare imaginable. "Well don't worry," she snapped back while rising to her feet. "It was just something we both needed out of our system," she coolly spits out, "It will NEVER happen again." I watch her take her first step away from me, which surely will doom the beautiful thing we both shared hours ago.

'SAY SOMETHING IDIOT OR YOU'LL LOSE HER!'

My hand snapped out faster than the impulse my brain commanded it to move, grabbing a hold of her hand. "Damn it, you _hell spawn_ of a _woman_," I curse, "Can you not see this moronic Irken cares for you, _deeply!_" I'm still new to these emotions, but by _Tallest_, please let her see how sincere I am.

Somehow I think Red and Purple favored me this one time, because she turned and looked at me as I continued, "Zim's just…I'm just scared! I don't know what this all means!" I could not have been more honest than that.

My Pak is going haywire. You're never supposed to expose a weakness to anyone, but Earth be damn, I don't care anymore. I just want her!

"You scare me too, you know," she admits softly and I'm without words speechless. She looks down at my hand. She slowly slides my three-digit grasp into her hand, till I'm holding hers, just like she's holding mine. She looks up to me again, the chocolates of her eyes present again. "I don't do this…with anyone," she comments and I knew this without mention. Her restriction against allowing people to be close to her, is fiercer than my own. But whatever her reasons she let me in and if need be, I'll make the whole world burn to keep her there.

My free hand rose, lightly brushing against her cheek. She gently sways into my touch, sighing from the tender motion. She then joins me, crawling into my lap. A flash of heat fills me as I feel her soft flesh pressed against mine. I have to try to calm my baser instincts or I might ravage this poor girl. Instead, my lips lay a small claim on her shoulder as we sit in a companionable silence.

I continually fight over one last detail about my dilemma, but eventually my nerve wins out. "It's not only that…" I begin to say. I see the soft rippling of her violet hair as she turns to me. "Zim keeps seeing things…" I cannot say more, mainly because I don't know how my Pak will react to its nature being revealed. "What are you supposed to do when everything from your home world is telling you that this is wrong?" I paused while holding her up her hand, the contrast between the two of us as clear as her five-digit hand in comparison to my three.

I am Irken, not native to this world. I'm assigned to destroy anything and everything for the good my empire. She's a human, beautiful, strong, a detriment to all that is good about her race. The union between us would never be natural, much less normal. My assignment, her laws, nothing in this world would make what we forged here in these walls, unproblematic.

Gaz smiles at me as if the answer was plain as day, "You just say, Fuck the world…" she grins while pressing her lips to mine and I realized that probably everything will be ok.

_She is my peace…_


End file.
